Re: Health Care Bill is way too long to read

HR 3200 Health care bill

• Introduced: July 14, 2009
• Passed: 7 Nov, 2009
• Lapsed: 116 days
• Words in HR 3200 (according to copy from scribd -> txt -> textwrangler): 172,344
• Estimate of words in an average NYTimes Paper (from http://www.oliverwyman.com/ow/14029.htm): 75,000

In regards to anyone who said they didn't have time to read, nonetheless understand, the Health Care Bill.

It is your job to understand prospective bills so you can make intelligent decision on how to vote and or amend them.

You don't have time to read 2.3 issues of a daily paper from front to back over the course of 116 days (nearly 4 months)?

Please resign and we'll find someone who is willing to do the job.

Thank you.

2 Compositions of Magnetic Poetry, 20080116

1.

woman, short of dress
 where for my eyes to stop
  your leg, milky white
  drool marinates
 in time,
  a thousand languid moments later
 lust will lapse
what i think heaves aside what i see
 i watch with my mind and understand
  this curious endeavor, sordid attraction.

2.

the squirrels
 dream of chocolate
  set aside individualism for
  a herculean vision
   of milky wet meal
 together
  run pound crush beat
  through panic
   to marinate themselves languidly
 in their present
  swimming in sordid ecstasy
   weak with pleasure

Where I want to live

Visiting Iowa again after a fashion made me think of where I'll want to settle when the time comes. This is a braindump on what I want in that place.

• 4 seasons
• Thunderstorms
• Snow
• A vibrant (old-school) downtown
• A place where the presence of Nature is felt
• Work/groceries/church/nice cafe in walking/biking distance from house
• Minimal light pollution (http://www.darksky.org/)
• (Enough) People who are
• tolerant and respectful of my religion, politics, and philosophy
• Kind and friendly
• Interested in
• Dialogue
• play
• silliness
• music
• dancing
• Good Restaurants
• Mexican
• Chinese
• Italian (2 or more)
• Pizza (3+)
• Burger place
• Sub Place
• Good Schools
• High speed internet (sad, i know)
• A job
• All my best friends from all time

Is that really so much to ask?

Things I miss about the iowa: Thunderstorms, scenery, blizzards, Autumn, history with a place, HS friends, being the center of presidential campaigning, complaining about there being nothing to do, sledding, driveway basketball, dangerous playground equiptment, deciduous trees, family, way-too-hot summer days...

Meditations on "The Last Kiss"

Just finished watching "the Last Kiss" It is about several couples going through hard times and trying to decide what to do about it.

Watching it, I keep thinking about how the movie is very realistic about how complex and messy relationships are. But at the same time there is the obligatory happy ending that stops just as they get a new start in their relationship.

I can't help but think that it is bullshit. Not that i don't believe she would give him another chance. But i don't see a happy ending following. I can't imagine it all working out. I just don't believe in 'everything working out' anymore. At least not as easily as our culture tells us it will.

Part of me is sad because I don't believe there will be a happy ending for them, and part of me is sad that I don't believe in love anymore. Not in romantic love that we've been trying to sell ourselves the last 50 years. Wanting things to work out doesn't make them do so. Loving each other isn't enough. What you do matters just as much.

Which is actually a message of the movie, the idea that it isn't out feelings that define us, but how we respond to them.

I think of the lies I've told myself and the truths I've neglected to share. I've always justified my actions by knowing I have good intentions. Since i do actually love/care for these people, even if I do the wrong thing, because my intentions are (mostly) good I get off scot-free.

Well, we all know that is BS. We may not pay today or tomorrow, but all our actions have consequences. They all catch up with us eventually.

10 Random things about me

(self-selectedly tagged by Kelsey)

Rules of the game: Once you're tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random facts about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them to be tagged. Don't forget to let them know they've been tagged. I'm told that you can't tag the person who tagged you. Thank God! OR this could go on forever.

1. (insert random things) make me cry. Books, movies, music, sometimes just the smell of fresh autumn air and sunlight outdoors will make me tear up. I remember sitting in my room in HS my senior year. I was reading "the man in the iron mask" by Alexandre Dumas for an english project. At the end of the novel, Porthos Dies. There are three chapters devoted to his death. I was there sitting at my desk bawling as I read for 20 minutes or more.
2. I have hobbit feet. size 10 but very wide. I can never find shoes quite wide enough for my feet. It sucks!
3. At barely 5'10" I am the tallest member of my immediate family.
4. I'm terrible with time. I'm habitually late and can barely remember the order of the months. If i have something to do and I don't do it now or write it down there's a 80% chance I will totally forget about it.
5. I'm 28 and have been romantically involved with 4 people so far in my life. Longest relationship: 8 years (dated 4 married 4), shortest 6 months.
6. I'm addicted to music. There's rarely a time when I do without it. I like many varieties of music and my tastes have changed over the years but my favorite kind of music is very emotive. It makes me _feel_. Rage: Nirvana, Tori amos. Sadness: James, the eels. Frenetic Joy: Ben folds. Pensive: DCFC, postal service.
7. I consider myself a Christian, though I don't believe in Hell and I do believe that all faiths are legitimate ways to reach out to the Creator of the Universe. I try to follow the example of Jesus and see my connection with God primarily through his story.
8. At the same time I consider myself a scientist. I think that reason, creativity and the scientific method are the best ways we have of understanding the observable physical world. I am happy to change my opinion based on new information and reasoning.
9. I went to my first "real" concert in the 10th grade. I saw the Count Basie Orchestra at the Pella Opera House with my friend Ian. We ditched my other good friend Erin Alberty for two last minute tickets in the 6th row center-ish. We showed up with a couple minutes to spare. (2nd Concert: Front row Metallica 12th grade)
10. I didn't drink or smoke before it was legal for me to do so. Not because either is evil or stupid, but because I see no reason to break laws unless I believe they are wrong and have been unable to do something about it though legal channels

Man, I'm a square.

I chose to tag no one. Consider yourself tagged if you see fit.

Silence, inside and out

Silence moves me in many different ways. Sometimes when people overwhelm me and there is just too much noise, too much presence, too much of everything I'll step outside. Winter or summer, drizzle or sun, the fresh air and quiet refreshes me. It helps me breathe and just be. It isn't entirely silent of course. There are cars, trees, animals, insects, wind. The entire world interacts sonically, reminding me of its presence. It helps me to remember how small a piece of the whole I am, which relaxes me.

On the other hand silence indoors, in my house, doesn't have the same effect. It reminds me that I am alone, that my house is empty, that my companions are a tv, a refrigerator, computers, a radio. My walls insulate me from the cold of winter and keep the rain and wind from me. But they also separate me from the universe.

Standing in a thunderstorm there is a very present sense of being, you feel the wind and thunder moving you. You know that you are part of it. Inside I can barely hear the wind and the rain, the bright sun rarely touches me.

Have you ever been in a soundproof room? It doesn't provide a feeling of safety or being protected. It feels like having the air knocked out of you. It is disorienting. It is as if the walls are pulling you apart. Not being able to sense yourself attacks your sense of self. It reminds me of my melancholic days of high school, when I'd ache just to feel something, pleasure or pain.

These days it is easier to feel. I do a better job of being me than I used to. I've learned to appreciate my experience, even with the things I'd most like to change. It is all me, after all. The alternative--to pretend that the unpleasant bits aren't me--only puts off the inevitable experience of coming to terms with my demons over and over again, better just to face them, accept them, and pray for help overcoming(or avoiding) them.

It is important for me to be reminded that I'm only a small part of the universe. Standing outside, just being in the universe, makes me infinite, if only for a moment.

Thoughts on being powerless (electricitywise)

Powerless. That was the status of most of Olympia and Lacey sometime in the last two days due to wind storms.

The world is awful quiet with the power out. I like the darkness. The street lights bother me at night. it *should* be dark at night.

I used to love power outages when I was younger. You get to pull out candles and oil lamps. Take a bath by candlelight. My family would play card or board games. I think we may have any way. That is how I choose to remember.

This time I was alone. Empty house. No sound, not even the fridge or crappy baseboard heaters clicking on and off. I never realized how much I use the tv, stereo, computer as company. As community. Is this what is happening to America? Technology flakes out on us less than people, so we "simplify." It doesn't seem like much of a solution. I wonder who I would be without all this stuff. If all I had were myself and my physical needs (food, water, shelter, clothing) what would I be forced to do about my emotional needs (relationship, compassion, to be trusted, needed, wanted ...)

What I lack would be more keenly felt without my 'comforts.' Would it move me to become closer with new friends? Would it encourage me to be more outgoing and meet new people? Would it push me to become self-sufficient and take care of myself? Or would I sink into despair and depression.

Being an optimist at heart, I believe that the suffering would help me to face reality and and embrace life after digging myself out the necessary unpleasantries of facing the world.

At the least I know that avoiding problems doesn't ever solve them, and so I should face them at least one at a time if not all at once.

Would abstaining from some of my distractions help me? If I knew it would, would I do it? Maybe I just need to get my ration of silence and alone time, rather than throwing out my tivo, HDTV, computer, Xbox and such.

I should add it to my prescriptions for getting healthy; folic acid, daily vitamins, regular exercise, walking 1 hour a day, eat proper portions of healthy-ish food, regular writing, 20-30 minutes of time with myself for just being with myself.

Next step: How to actually get myself to do all the things that I know will make me better. Any Ideas?

Hi, my name is dave, and I'm an opinion whore.

It seems like I have been over-sharing my opinions lately. I wonder if this is a side effect of loneliness or just my inner self yearning to express itself.

I don't think I'm necessarily opinionated, but I do have a tendency to have an opinion on everything and will share it with anyone unlucky enough to be standing nearby.

Although, I differ some some opinionated people I know in that I am willing to change my opinions based on logic, reason, or good old emotional appeal.

Anyways I apologize to everyone I may have inundated with my opinions with out asking if they were wanted first. Just ask me to stop and I will.

I think part of the recent loquaciousness is my desire for conversation. I just love to talk to people and don't get to enough.

Feel free to take that as an open invitation to dialog, friends and aquantances, or an invitation to coffee when nearby.

Have a Merry Collection of non-specific holidays!

What I want...

I don't always know what I need, and have trouble being able to put words to what I want.

BUT , I do know that someday, I want someone to feel this way about me.

The Shirt - Jane Kenyon
The shirt touches his neck
and smooths over his back.
It slides down his sides.
It even goes down below his belt --
down into his pants.
Lucky shirt.

Does that make me shallow? Just checking.

An odd place.

I remember being fearless.

I know it is a lie. Not nearly true, but so far (by a matter of degree) from how I feel now that it feels true.

Sometimes how it feels matters a lot more than how it is.

I remember being sure of myself, knowing I was worthwhile, knowing I was valuable, knowing I was loved. (the kind of knowing you feel more than think) Why do I insist on defining myself by what I don't have? by what has past, or never was.

I know that I am loved. The center of my faith is that God loves me (as well as everyone else, and all creation) completely and unconditionally. I have seen that love modeled to me by so many people, my parents, my friends old and new. I have felt that love from creation itself. All of October felt like a big hug, and i needed one. I know this Autumn wasn't just for me, but some days it felt like it. And I'm thankful.

I can see myself. I'm so tempted to define myself by what I don't have. By my desires.

I have all I need. My cup overflows. But I can't help but dwell on things that i want, even knowing that I'm not ready to have them.

What's the solution, the cure? If I knew, would I be asking?

Well, here's what I'll be doing, anyhow.

1. Giving Thanks for all that I have been blessed with
2. Realize and enjoy the now, while I'm here in it.
3. Embrace me, because who the hell else am I going to be?
4. Saying, "So it goes." as often as neccesary
5. Staying connected with all of creation, my family and friends, and God.

I'm thankful for this prayer, it helps me to do the things above.

    Lord, it is night.

       The night is for stillness.
       Let us be still in the presence of God.

   It is night after a long day.
       What has been done has been done;
       what has not been done has not been done;
           let it be.

   The night is dark.
       Let our fears of the darkness of the world
           and of our own lives rest in you.

   The night is quiet.
       Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
           all dear to us,
           and all who have no peace.

   The night heralds the dawn.
       Let us look expectantly to a new day,
           new joys,
           new possibilities.

   In your name, we pray. Amen.

-from a new zealand prayer book

good night.

Today's perspective

I think the best thing for me right now is to imagine the ideal, and look forward to finding it. Not that perfection is attainable, I am human after all. I can wait to find the person who is so right for me I can't bear the thought of being without her. It is an adventure/experience worth looking forward to. Even if it takes awhile.

Where did this epiphany come from? Well, a swell 'airport read' (according to amazon) I picked up Around the World in 80 Dates by Jennifer Cox at Costco after hearing her talk about it on npr. It was a great book. Not a 'great book' like A Tale of two cities but a fun read that contains good advice and helpful experiences to avoid in an authentic conversational manner. It is great to follow jennifer around her past and the world through incredibly bad dates, ok ones, and great ones and then at last to experience with her the joy of at last finding her soul mate. (Although I must admit, the term "soul mate" annoys me more than a little. Not sure why.)

Anyways, a good book. Or at least a book that was good for me at this juncture. It kicked some of my current pessimism/cynicism to the curb, which was a refreshing change.

New rule: Don't settle. A lesson I wish I'd learned long ago(even before tika). This lesson is innately tied in with locating my ambition (wherever it went).

On a vaguely related subject, I'm going to try to learn to play guitar as well as practice singing more. "Practice?" you say, "That doesn't sound like dave." Well, hopefully it is a sign of my reaquaintance with ambition. I hope we get along.